Confessions of a Teenage Drug Addict > Experimenting with marijuana


"I am a recovering addict. I have been clean for almost two years. From my experience and knowing many other recovering addicts, there is nothing anyone can do until the addict seeks help. Good luck and god bless." - anonymous

DATE: Saturday 30th June 2001 - 10 p.m. (one day later)

QUESTION: (on the telephone) Gor, Gor, where are you?

GOR: (speech is very slurred) I don't know. I can't go home.

QUESTION: What do you mean? Don't you have any money?

GOR: No.....can you pick me up?

QUESTION: Where are you?

GOR: (pauses) Can you pick me up?

QUESTION: Who are you with?

GOR: Friends.

QUESTION: Get into a taxi and come to the school. I'll pay the taxi driver when you arrive.

DATE: Sunday 1st July 2001 - 11 a.m. (one day later)

QUESTION: Can you tell me what happened last night? You were acting all drunk but I couldn't smell any whiskey or beer. When did it all start?

GOR: I went to Gai's house to meet some of my friends called Hung and Gong. They were late so I just slept for a few hours. I woke up at 1.30 p.m. and had something to eat. Soon my friends arrived. Hung and Gong shared money together to buy some amphetamines. I went with Gai to buy 17 pills for them. Hung also wanted some cough medicine and some pills called Sainax. It is for people who are not feeling happy or had a bad day at work. It makes them feel better.

QUESTION: What do you do with the cough medicine? Do you drink it?

GOR: No, it is pills. Two pills is enough to make you drunk. I took two pills but nothing happened. Then Gai remembered that one of my friends wanted some marijuana too. We didn't know where to buy it so we went back to ask Hung. He said we could buy it in a soi near his house. He went with us and Gai and Hung shared their money to buy some. I didn't have any money. My mum kept it for me. After we bought it we went back.

QUESTION: How many fingers am I holding up?

GOR: Thhhhree. Why?

QUESTION: I was just wandering. When I asked you last night you couldn't focus and then about an hour or so ago you answered me in Thai and said "shhhham" instead of "sam". I just wanted to see if you were thinking straight yet. OK, can you tell me a bit more about Sainax? How much did it cost?

GOR: A pack of ten pills costs 70 baht. You can't buy it at every chemists, only some. And then you have to ask for it. We then went back to Gai's house. Hung took 6 more Sainax pills and he gave me four. I put it in a plastic bag for later.

QUESTION: Where is it now?

GOR: I don't know. I can't find it.

QUESTION: Did you take it?

GOR: No, for sure.

QUESTION: Was that what you were arguing with Gai about on the telephone last night? I heard you talking about medicine and pills.

GOR: Did I? I don't remember.

QUESTION: What happened next?

GOR: We then went to the back of the house to take marijuana. We didn't smoke it like a cigarette. We used a plastic bottle with some water at the bottom. Then we put a hole in the bottle and put the marijuana in it with some silver foil. Then we lit it. I took it too much I think. I felt drunk and wanted to sleep. I can't even remember how I got from Gai's house to the Counter Strike Game Shop. But, I can remember that Hung put me in a taxi and then I came here to school by myself. I remember that I met you in front of the school when I came out of the taxi. Then I came up to the computer room and went to sleep.

QUESTION: You don't remember anything else?

GOR: No.

QUESTION: Don't you remember me ringing you at 10 p.m. to find out where you were?

GOR: No, I don't. Yes, maybe you did.

QUESTION: Do you remember talking to your mum last night on the phone and telling her you were sleeping at the school?

GOR: No, I don't remember that. I don't remember what happened to those four pills.

QUESTION: The cough medicine or Sainax? Do you want to take some now?

GOR: No. No.

QUESTION: Why do you keep talking about the pills? You were doing that last night. They are not expensive. You told me 70 baht for 10 and it costs more than that for one amphetamine pill.

GOR: It is difficult to buy. I have to go to Samrong to buy it. You can't buy it here. They won't sell it to everyone. Hung knows the chemist in Samrong.

QUESTION: OK. Now we need to talk about you saying the other day you were going to be strong. What went wrong?

GOR: What went wrong? What? I didn't take amphetamine.

QUESTION: Are you looking at what happened last night differently?

GOR: Why?

QUESTION: Don't you think this is the same? They are both drugs.

GOR: No, this is fun.

QUESTION: Isn't amphetamines fun for you.

GOR: It is fun, but in a more bad way.

QUESTION: Is it bad because they are always talking about yaa bah (crazy medicine) in the newspaper?

GOR: No, it is bad because I can't sleep. If I am alone I won't have anything to do. Also, I don't feel like eating so I have lost a lot of weight. Taking marijuana will make me fat as it makes me feel hungry. And, when someone says a joke I can laugh easily.

QUESTION: So, what are you saying? You think it is OK to take marijuana?

GOR: I think taking amphetamine is worse than marijuana.

QUESTION: Do you really know that much about marijuana? Are you not worried that if you keep taking it, then that might affect your problem solving skills or the way you learn in class?

GOR: I don't take it that often. It is difficult to get as well.

QUESTION: How much is marijuana?

GOR: A wad smaller than a box of matches costs about 70 baht.

QUESTION: You see nothing wrong with this?

GOR: If I only take Sainax and not marijuana it is OK.

QUESTION: What is so interesting about Sainax?

GOR: It makes you drunk easily. Also, if you have a fever or problems at work and you take it, then you will feel better.

QUESTION: Have you taken it before?

GOR: Yes, a long time ago during the summer holidays.

QUESTION: What about marijuana?

GOR: The same.

QUESTION: Why don't you just get drunk the normal way? Sitting around chatting with your friends and drinking beer.

GOR: No, it is different OK. It is like being drunk but it is a different feeling. It is also a cheaper way to get drunk.

QUESTION: You are saying that you are still being strong but I don't look at it that way.

GOR: Why?

QUESTION: I think drugs is drugs. You are not in control. I wish I had a video camera last night to show you what you were like. Do you really know what the dangers and long term affects of these drugs are?

GOR: I am not taking it that often!

QUESTION: Yes I know. But don't forget that is what you said to me a couple of months ago about amphetamines.

GOR: It is not the same. OK?

QUESTION: Are you planning to take some more cough medicine or Sainax?

GOR: No. I don't mean no forever. I mean not now, not this week. But, I am not going to keep taking it.

QUESTION: I don't really want to repeat myself because you don't like it, but you said exactly the same about amphetamines back in April.

GOR: It is NOT the same. OK?

QUESTION: Well, you have to tell me why it is not the same as I don't understand.

GOR: Because it is not easy to get those pills. Not every chemist sells them. Samrong is far from here.

QUESTION: I am sure there must be one around here.

GOR: There is not any here.

QUESTION: We were talking before about you taking a step forward in beating drugs and I said be careful not to take two steps back by making a wrong choice. So, you are saying that what happened last night wasn't two steps back?

GOR: No it wasn't. I am still in the same place as Friday.

QUESTION: Is your plan still going ahead?

GOR: Yes.

QUESTION: What about last night when your friends were taking amphetamines? Were you being strong?

GOR: Yes for sure. I was thinking about the amulet and what my mother had told me.

QUESTION: That was at the start of the session. What if you had already taken marijuana before they started on the amphetamines. Would you have been strong enough to stop yourself? You didn't look very in control last night when I saw you.

GOR: You know what. I was not in control but I knew myself and what I was doing. I am sure I would have been strong enough to not take them.

QUESTION: OK, lets finish this interview now as you are looking sleepy again. So, in conclusion you don't think you are having a problem with marijuana?

GOR: No, because I am not going to take it anymore. I feel bad now. I don't mean never. I won't take it often. Maybe once a month.

QUESTION: You are making me repeat myself again....

GOR: I am not going to get addicted again. OK? I learned my lesson.

DATE: Sunday 1st July 2001 (6 hours later)

QUESTION: I didn't really want to let you go out this afternoon by yourself. Yes, I know you went with your girlfriend. You promised me that you were going to meet an old friend for one hour and then would come straight back. I promised your Mum I would take you to meet her at Central Department store at 5 p.m. I can see from the way you are acting you have taken more drugs.

GOR: (speech is slightly slurred) Don't be angry. Let me tell you what happened first.


GOR: I went to meet my old friend. He has been working in Rayong and came back this morning. But he wasn't there. I was two hours late. Then, as I was about to come back to school my other friends rang my PCT. They asked me to meet them at my home. So, I went there and met them. They had some marijuana and they asked me to take it. I said I don't mind so we started to prepare the plastic bottle.

QUESTION: You told me earlier than you didn't want to take any more because you didn't feel well and also that you weren't going to take any more for a long time.

GOR: I don't know. I don't really remember everything. I didn't plan to take amphetamine too. I am not sure. I remember ringing my mum and asking her if I can take it one more time. I promised her that it will be the last time. At first she said no. Then I said something like don't you trust me? Then she said OK. Then I gave my money to my friend to go and get it. He came back with two pills. I gave him half.

QUESTION: Why did you do that again after all your promises last week?

GOR: I don't know. I wasn't really myself as I was high on marijuana and the other pills last night. Maybe it was goodbye taking. Maybe.

QUESTION: OK. I remember asking you before if you could stop yourself taking amphetamines if you were high on marijuana or even drunk on whiskey. You said you could. What do you say now?

GOR: I can't control myself.

QUESTION: Are you going to stop marijuana?

GOR: Yes.

QUESTION: Was that the last time?

GOR: I can't say that.

QUESTION: Have you stopped taking amphetamines now?

GOR: Yes. Very, very sure.

QUESTION: I am going to take you to meet your mother now. what do you think she will say?

GOR: I told her the truth already. She is OK. I am sure she will trust me.

QUESTION: What do you think your father will say?

GOR: I don't think he will say anything.

QUESTION: OK. Let's go.

DATE: Tuesday 3rd July 2001 (2 days later)

QUESTION: That was quite a big weekend you had. I interviewed you twice on Sunday while everything was still fresh in your mind. But I think some of your answers were not that clear and others a bit strange because you were still high on drugs. I am not sure if you have changed your mind now or not. First I want to know if you can remember anything about the weekend.

GOR: Not really. It is all mixed up. I am confused. I forgot almost everything. I am not sure how it started, how I went from Gai's house to the computer game shop and how I came to sleep here at school. It confused me when I woke up as I didn't know where I was at first.

QUESTION: Do you remember me ringing you at 10 p.m. on Saturday night?

GOR: Not really. I don't really remember who put me in the taxi.

QUESTION: Did you tell the taxi driver how to come here?

GOR: I don't think so.

QUESTION: When you came here you were talking about different things. You were worried that you had lost four pills and you telephoned your friend. You also telephoned your mum and asked her to find out what time you were meeting your girlfriend on Sunday. Do you remember that?

GOR: No. I don't remember talking to my mum.

QUESTION: OK. Let's talk about the differences about marijuana and amphetamine. Are they both drugs?

GOR: Yes.

QUESTION: Are they as bad as each other?

GOR: I don't know. Myself I think marijuana is worse because it made me do something that I can't remember. That is scary. Marijuana is a bad drug.

QUESTION: But, that is the opposite of what you said on Sunday. Do you remember what you said.

GOR: No, I can't really remember.

QUESTION: I think you said marijuana is good and that you will keep taking it..

GOR: Did I? Really?

QUESTION: Yes. So, have you changed your mind now that you are no longer high?

GOR: Yes, yes yes. For sure. This is scary. More so than amphetamine.


GOR: With amphetamine I was more in control of my mind. With marijuana I lost control. I might have done something very stupid.

QUESTION: What happened after I dropped you off at Central Department store?

GOR: Nothing, it was like normal. Maybe she was more kind to me. I think she was trying to make me feel good. I was a bit embarrassed as she was being very kind.

QUESTION: Did she ask you any questions?

GOR: No. That meant she trust me.

QUESTION: What about your father? Did he say anything to you later?

GOR: No. He kept quiet.

QUESTION: Aren't you surprised about that? I remember you telling me before that you thought your father would get very angry with you.

GOR: I think maybe my mother talked to him. Maybe she told him to be quiet and not get angry.

QUESTION: Last week we were saying you had a good step forward as you had stopped yourself while your friends were taking drugs. Where are you after this weekend? Have you gone two steps back?

GOR: No, I think I have gone forward because I am now stronger. I know how bad it is and how scary it can be. It has made be stronger to stop drugs.

DATE: Monday 9th July 2001 (6 days later)

QUESTION: Have you taken any drugs in the last week?

GOR: No, I am clean.

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